I think I should probably give up...

Not on life, I’m not that down.

Social media makes me painfully aware of the one thing I want so badly and not being able to have it. It’s also a way to make me self-destruct emotionally.

So, I think I’m going to pull back from stuff and stop being online even the little bit that I am now. Maybe I should focus on finding something else to channel my energy into. When I accepted my true self and came out, I thought that my life would change - but, it really hasn’t changed all that much. I thought that being a part of the furry fandom would get me out of the house, but it really hasn’t. I’ve met some lovely people, all of the people I have feelings for are in the fandom, and I know that I’m not alone because of the family I have found there. The social media stuff has just made me more and more depressed because I see so many happy fluffs and their partners… and I don’t have that. I see them out at cons or other gatherings, and I wish I could be more social.

I have been patient. I have tried. I don’t see the situation changing. So, I’ll be cutting back on social media beyond the groups and people I converse with. Social media has been actively harming my mental and emotional health, and I think it’s time to maybe stop for a while. It’s also not a good place for someone who is not feeling themselves emotionally and is struggling with their underlying impulse control issues (yay AuDHD). I looked over everything I’ve posted lately and it’s clear that I’m only self-destructing myself by continuing.

Those of you whom I talk with regularly… nothing changes. I’m still here for you and want to be more than just a random fluff in your phone. Please, help me get the fuck out of this house and do fun stuff. I’m so stuck right now. I’m not even talking “fun stuff,” but just some face to face contact and quality bonding time. If you’re up to do something… please let me know. I’m too much of a pussy to ask most of you, so I need a little nudging. I’m sorry that y’all had to see me spin out this week… I have a handle on it now and I’m going to do better.

For everyone else… I’m going to write more, but it will be here and not on any social platform. My bluesky will continue to be up for as long as I want to keep running the PDS… but it may go away, or I may come back once I’ve sorted myself out emotionally. It’s been real, and I hope y’all stay healthy and happy.

Until next time… ❤️‍🩹